This is my second blog post on practical steps towards community with Jesus and the poor. While I feel like the first subject (simplicity) was a tool that helps us follow God into love for others, this subject (friendships with marginalized persons) gets to the very essence of God's heart. Once again, you don't have to follow these steps in this order.
Step zero: Inspiration - Read From Brokenness to Community by Jean Vanier. The book is only 43 pages long. You can finish it in one sitting. But take your time. If you consider his words seriously, there is a decent chance that it could change your life.
Step one: Make a new friend – Most of us do not spend time in the same places that marginalized persons live. Our neighborhoods are too expensive and our jobs are too well-paying. So the first thing you have to do is find a place that is closer to the margins of society. There may be a street near your work where people beg, a neighborhood on the way home known for people living on the sidewalks, or an institution nearby for people who are elderly or who have mental disabilities. Make sure it is place you can go back to regularly, because friendship will only happen if you have a consistent presence in that place. Go there once and find someone with some free time. Start a conversation. Ask questions. Learn from them. If possible, you can find a spot to have lunch together. And make sure you come back. Get comfortable enough in the place that people feel okay initiating conversations with you.
Step two: Invite someone into your home – Open up your home for dinner to someone who wouldn't normally get the chance. This might be a single mother from church, a veteran you met at the food pantry, or the person you became friends with in Step One. The more simple you've made your life, the more comfortable you will be taking this step. Try not to make it a one-time event - invite people as often as you are able. If possible, make it a potluck so your guest can contribute some of the food too. Try to create an atmosphere where they feel safe inviting you to their home as well. As in the first step, take steps that allow the friendships you form to last.
Step three: Make use of your extra room – Many Westerners have more rooms in their home than they need. Many other Westerners don't have enough resources to independently maintain a safe home. If your family could free up a room in your home, you could make that room available to someone who needs it. That "someone" might be a foreign college student who is just starting to learn the culture. It might be a kid who needs a foster family. It might be a disabled adult who can almost provide for their own needs, but lacks a family support structure. It might be a single mother who has trouble working and taking care of her kids at the same time while living alone. It might be someone you met in steps one or two. It doesn't matter who it is, the question is - do they need a home, and can you be that home? It's okay in many cases to charge affordable rent, so that the person you're inviting into your home can make a contribution. Shared chores and other shared responsibilities are also important.
Step four: Relocate to a new community – Step one started with the assumption that most of us aren't in the same communities as the marginalized. Ideally, we should change that. Move into a place that most people who are "like you" want to move out of. That may be an inner-city neighborhood where everyone is a different ethnicity than you, or the district that all the newest immigrants move into. It might be the area that's known for heavy drug use, or prostitution, or homelessness. In some regions it might be a rural area that has been neglected so that it doesn't have the basic facilities. Whatever kind of place it is, make sure it is a place where it is easy to find people who are significantly different than you, and live with intentional love there.
Further Study - I have found Friendship at the Margins and Making Room to be fantastic books on what it really means to be community to the people around us. Both books are best suited for those people who already take service to their community and friendship with marginalized people seriously, but want to understand more about what it means theologically and practically to love the people around them better.
I didn't talk much about why community with marginalized persons is important. Hopefully, if you've been my friend for a while, you've been able to get some idea of that. But if you're not sure, I'm happy to dialogue, as well as recommend many more books on the subject.
Step zero: Inspiration - Read From Brokenness to Community by Jean Vanier. The book is only 43 pages long. You can finish it in one sitting. But take your time. If you consider his words seriously, there is a decent chance that it could change your life.
Step one: Make a new friend – Most of us do not spend time in the same places that marginalized persons live. Our neighborhoods are too expensive and our jobs are too well-paying. So the first thing you have to do is find a place that is closer to the margins of society. There may be a street near your work where people beg, a neighborhood on the way home known for people living on the sidewalks, or an institution nearby for people who are elderly or who have mental disabilities. Make sure it is place you can go back to regularly, because friendship will only happen if you have a consistent presence in that place. Go there once and find someone with some free time. Start a conversation. Ask questions. Learn from them. If possible, you can find a spot to have lunch together. And make sure you come back. Get comfortable enough in the place that people feel okay initiating conversations with you.
Step two: Invite someone into your home – Open up your home for dinner to someone who wouldn't normally get the chance. This might be a single mother from church, a veteran you met at the food pantry, or the person you became friends with in Step One. The more simple you've made your life, the more comfortable you will be taking this step. Try not to make it a one-time event - invite people as often as you are able. If possible, make it a potluck so your guest can contribute some of the food too. Try to create an atmosphere where they feel safe inviting you to their home as well. As in the first step, take steps that allow the friendships you form to last.
Step three: Make use of your extra room – Many Westerners have more rooms in their home than they need. Many other Westerners don't have enough resources to independently maintain a safe home. If your family could free up a room in your home, you could make that room available to someone who needs it. That "someone" might be a foreign college student who is just starting to learn the culture. It might be a kid who needs a foster family. It might be a disabled adult who can almost provide for their own needs, but lacks a family support structure. It might be a single mother who has trouble working and taking care of her kids at the same time while living alone. It might be someone you met in steps one or two. It doesn't matter who it is, the question is - do they need a home, and can you be that home? It's okay in many cases to charge affordable rent, so that the person you're inviting into your home can make a contribution. Shared chores and other shared responsibilities are also important.
Step four: Relocate to a new community – Step one started with the assumption that most of us aren't in the same communities as the marginalized. Ideally, we should change that. Move into a place that most people who are "like you" want to move out of. That may be an inner-city neighborhood where everyone is a different ethnicity than you, or the district that all the newest immigrants move into. It might be the area that's known for heavy drug use, or prostitution, or homelessness. In some regions it might be a rural area that has been neglected so that it doesn't have the basic facilities. Whatever kind of place it is, make sure it is a place where it is easy to find people who are significantly different than you, and live with intentional love there.
Further Study - I have found Friendship at the Margins and Making Room to be fantastic books on what it really means to be community to the people around us. Both books are best suited for those people who already take service to their community and friendship with marginalized people seriously, but want to understand more about what it means theologically and practically to love the people around them better.
I didn't talk much about why community with marginalized persons is important. Hopefully, if you've been my friend for a while, you've been able to get some idea of that. But if you're not sure, I'm happy to dialogue, as well as recommend many more books on the subject.
1 comments:
a good friend of ours was doing this and it turned into an opportunity to tutor the children of the person she's met =)
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